Feeling-Based Goals Instead of Behavior-Based Goals
Behavior-based goals can move you forward quite a lot, but they’re conditional. They’re contingent upon changed behavior. Changed behavior is not always a solid foundation given human nature. Feeling-based goals, on the other hand, can be based on a strong...
Choices, but Not Outcomes
You can make choices, but you cannot choose outcomes. Outcome-based thinking, like expectations, leads to disappointments and resentments, and sometimes traumatic heartbreak and heartache. Acceptance, though a tall order, is the answer. It is simple, but it isn’t...
Maybe Planting the Seeds is Enough: Reframing Outcome-based Thinking
When we plant seeds, literally or figuratively, in any aspect of our lives or the lives of those around us, it’s only human to want to see them grow. When we put in effort, we expect to see results. But outcome-based thinking is a dangerous tightrope to walk...
“My Two Cents” by a Gold Star Spouse on Memorial Day
Sometimes we wear our traumas and tragedies and losses like a badge of honor. Our misery on display for all to see, as if it were some kind of twisted accomplishment. We do not mean to do this. People do not mean to “honor” us like this, for this, and yet, it’s all...
Nikola Rosa is an artistic rendering of the soul that has come to exist after rising from the ashes. Her thoughts are from Nancy Gass, and yet they are in some ways, a different person entirely. We all have hearts and souls that are a deep ocean of complexity and this dichotomy is no different.