If we look back over the course of human existence, we’re only meant to have around 100 to 150 friends in our lives and the impact of FB is that it causes overload.
The more friends we have online and the more deeply we care, the more overwhelmed we feel. In addition, historically speaking those friends we had were in a limited geographic community, and as a result, we could interact with them simultaneously and stay connected with one another in groups.
However nowadays, our friends are all over the map and more likely than ever to be independent connections of ours and therefore it’s less possible for us to spend time with them because that means time one on one instead of timesharing ourselves with our friends collectively in small groups; let’s face it, there is only so much time.
The result is we just don’t have enough time for everyone. In addition, the “squeaky wheel gets the grease” phenomenon exists meaning whoever seems to need or demand our attention comes first and inevitably there are people we can never get to because there’s always a “squeaky wheel” between us and them. The squeaky wheel may be a drain on our energy. And the more friends we have means statistically we’re more likely to have more squeaky wheels. These may not always be the same person, or any specific person, but this may generally denote people we love who are struggling or going through something terrible and we want to drop what we’re doing to be there for them in the midst of their crisis. But the more friends we have, the more crisis’ we will see. Someone is always going through something. And these are our friends so we want to be there for them, often the way they’ve been there for us through our own struggles.
Nonetheless, this can make FB feel like a job. And when we have an actual job, children, and other obligations, who has the time?! This may sound cold, but it is a very real challenge in modern life where we’re trying to be less distracted and more present each day.
It is all too easy to devote our energy and compassion to our online friends only to find we don’t have any time or emotional energy left for the people right in front of us. Setting boundaries and getting clear on priorities is essential so we can truly be there for the people we love the most; so we can make the most of the time we have with those who are truly part of our journey in this one precious life. Pick your people; prioritize your time; spend your time selectively and pray broadly.
